Today’s Favorite Tweets

You've Got Fail!
You've Got Fail!

Some bits of wisdom from the Twitter-verse today.

“In a cab, the driver has his Mom with him in the front seat. She keeps scolding him.”

“there is nothing better than a fresh haircut”
Really, nothing?

“Just saw a job posting for a janitorial service that cleans up meth labs busted by the police. If it was part-time, I’d totally rock that.”

“Paintball done. Cactus in my buttocks. Only got shot once! By my hot wife… ”

“my hairs hurt. weird.”

“Axe just makes you smell more high.”

“The person behind me at Subway smells like Pot.”
Obviously this fellow was standing in front of the guy from the previous tweet.

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